return my video game
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
