You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
