Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You work out of a Hotel?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
