I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No subtext here. People are naked.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
