I hate your face
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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