Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
