i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
