one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
