How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
