so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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