Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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