you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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