My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
