So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
