please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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