Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
