I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
