I just threw up on my dentist
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
