Got a toothbrush?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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