We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He felt like a one man threesome
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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