have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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