you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
