Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
