she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
