Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
