just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
