I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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