Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
