Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
