well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
