somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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