the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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