Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
