my vag is so smooth its legendary
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
