I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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