she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
