I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
