it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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