Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
