Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
