I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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