I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
