I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
