I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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