yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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