quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
