You just made me feel so damn special
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
