You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
