Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
