maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
