youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
