its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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