Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
