So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
