haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
