idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
