too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize