My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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