Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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